Talking To Children About Divorce

When dealing with the pain of a separation or divorce, parents sometimes get so mired in their own conflicts that they neglect doing things which are necessary to ease the transition for their children. Children's reactions to family dislocation can involve anxiety, self-blame for the separation or divorce, or poor performance at school. These factors can vary depending on the children's age, circumstances of the divorce and parents' psychological functioning, according to a new repor, published in November 2016 in the journal Pediatrics (as reported in Live Science. While Live Science suggested a somewhat low key set of involvements, our observations differ somewhat and require a more active ordering of priorities and therapies in order to address the natural byproducts of these breakups.

In our experience, a wide range of methods of stress management should be used to minimize these impacts and issues in separation and divorce.  This includes self reflection, the use of individual counseling for the parents, family counseling for the parents and children, and if circumstances warrant, individual counseling for the children.  Preserve routine as much as possible, particularly with regard to favorite activities.  Ideally, any counseling will be temporary in nature and necessary only to ease the transition into the next phase of life. Ideally, the problems tend to resolve in a period between one to three years after the separation, even as the sense of loss does remain.

When done well, each individual in the process can emerge in far better emotional health than they were when entering.

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